When describing the things that get in the way of proper Zehirut, Ramchal names 3 reasons: Being too busy, not taking life seriously, and having bad friends. Ramchal previously talked about being too busy as being the big challenge to Zehirut, and being overly jovial and not taking things seriously seems to be the direct opposite of Zehirut, so it makes sense why Ramchal mentions these two here.
Having bad friends is interesting, however, as its opposite - having good friends - is not mentioned as one of the positive ways of acquiring Zehirut. This is strange because in Pirkei Avot (Chapter 2) it says "איזוהי דרך ישרה שידבק בה האדם" - "What is the straight path that a person should stick to?" - and one of the answers given there is "חבר טוב" - "a good friend." In the mishna this is contrasted with the question "What is the bad path that a person should distance himself from?" with one of the answers being "bad friends."
Why did Ramchal leave out positive peer pressure?
Your question is a powerful one. It must be that good friends alone are insufficient. While we can certainly say that bad friends will damage zehirus, we cannot say that good friends will lead to it.
ReplyDeleteIn that case why does R' Yehoshua say that חבר טוב is THE דרך ישרה? It seems that according to him, seeking out good friends should be enough to lead someone down the Straight Path.
ReplyDeleteThe "straight path" is one thing and "zehirus" is another. I think it is obvious that no one ever stop doing aveiros just because they had good friends. As the Ramchal explains in this chapter, the Yetzer HaRa simply cannot be defeated without Torah. Even if it appears as if peer pressure works, if that's what a person's Yiddishkeit is based on, it won't last.
ReplyDeleteBut this is Messilat Yesharim where he opened up talking about the importance of Dveikut. It would seem that this Mishna in particular should be his starting point.
ReplyDeleteA mesilah is a lot narrower than a derech.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought I had: Maybe Ramchal didn't mention positive peer-pressure because finding it is much more difficult than avoiding bad pressure? As a practical guide, it's much easier to implement changes on oneself than finding similarly growth-minded individuals.
ReplyDeleteAs Ramchal himself laments in the introduction, finding people who are real Chassidim is extremely rare and precious.
Good Friends v. Bad Friends- Your question and dialogue with Liron was well taken. But I think the point is that you cannot "acquire" good friends, you have to be the type of person that good friends are drawn to. You can always acquire bad friends. You can do so through emotional or physical bribery. You can prop them up with compliments or take them out and spend money on them. You can do as they say. In other words "bad friends" are easy to find. More importantly, the hindrance can be ENORMOUS. Because a) people are ultimately lonely and impressionable and therefore they will confuse the company of bad friends for love and b) they will do what it takes to preserve those relationships including self-mutiliation (personal, emotional, physical, professional) in order to preserve the company of that bad friend.
ReplyDeleteHowever: the kasha from the Mishna is not a a real kasha. The Mishna speaks in a descriptive tone and not a prescriptive tone. It is a statement of objective reality not a perscription. "Which is the Derech Yeshara that a person should cling to", "Good Friend". A good friend objectively is the straight path but the prescription to achieve such a relationship is the maturity you spoke of in earlier posts.