The Process of Teshuva

One of the difficulties of trying to improve one’s self during the Aseres Yemai Teshuva is the overwhelming enormity of the task. We try certain things, accept upon ourselves certain chumros (like not eating Pas Palter) in an attempt to do enough good deeds to merit inscription in the Book of Life. But it is truly daunting. I mean, we know we will be basically the same people a few months from now. What is the point of it all? Why accept chumros that will disappear as soon as Yom Kippur is over? How is this useful for the process of Teshuva? How am I supposed to perfect myself with small, incremental changes?

The answer, I think, lies in the definition of what Teshuva really is. The Ramchal, way back in Chapter One of Mesillas Yesharim, writes:

Behold, our Sages have taught us that Man was created only to find delight in G-d, and to benefit from the radiance of the Divine Presence…. And if you were to investigate further into this matter, you would see that true perfection is only through attaching (D’veikus) one’s self with G-d.

The point of our existence is to become close to G-d. When we sin, we move away from G-d. We do Teshuva to move ourselves back in the right direction. In Physics, there is a concept of a vector, which is a force that moves in a specific direction. Teshuva, then, is really a spiritual vector: it is a force of spiritual growth moving in a direction back towards G-d, where we should be going. When the Navi admonishes the Jewish people to repent, he says “Shuva Yisrael ad Hashem Elokecha” – return to G-d. Move in G-d’s direction until you get to Him.

There’s an old aphorism that states “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. During the Aseres Yemai Teshuva, we accept upon ourselves certain stringencies or new kabolos to serve as an impetus or catalyst to do Teshuva. These actions are supposed to reorient our spiritual direction and get the ball rolling so that the inertia of Teshuva will take over and we can move along with it. The first act of Teshuva is creating an about-face to push us in the right direction. It doesn’t matter whether or not we keep doing these things after Yom Kippur. Of course, there is certainly more to Teshuva then just a redirection (see Rambam); it’s not just plugging an address into your GPS. But it does matter that we stay focused on where we should be going. If we lose sight of what we were put here for, than no amount of chumros or Al Chets will help us with our ultimate mission of becoming closer to G-d.