Anger Management, Alcoholism & Shopping

Luzzatto ends his treatment of anger with a quote from the sages:

"A man is recognized through his wallet, his goblet, and his anger" (Eruvin 65b).

(In the Hebrew, the list is a rhyming alliteration: בכיסו, בכוסו, ובכעסו.)

It is a delightful quote, but what exactly does Luzzatto want to do with it? He cites it as if it is consistent with his earlier teachings, but if anything, the Talmud seems to contradict him. Describing the most extreme loss of temper, Luzzatto wrote, "a man in such a state would destroy the world if he could, for reason has no hold on him whatsoever and he is as irrational as a beast of prey." How can we "recognize" a person by his anger if he is totally out of control?! According to Luzzatto, the Talmud should have asserted the exact opposite: Do not judge a man when he is angry! 

Our question applies with even greater force to another item on the list. "A man is recognized through... his goblet." This refers to the consumption of alcohol, but can we really recognize a person when he is drunk? If you want to observe the true nature of a man, he obviously must be sober! 

The answer is clear. The Talmud is not talking about anger or drunkenness per se, for no man should be judged in such a state. Rather, the Talmud is talking about triggers and frequency. If you want to learn about a person's character, find out what makes him angry and find out when and why he turns to alcohol. When you know the answers to those questions, then you know the man.

This sheds light on the first member of the set, the "wallet." Keeping in line with the other items on the list, the "wallet" here refers not to the act of spending money, but to the triggers and the frequency of shopping. Some people turn to shopping as a way of dealing with stress and unhappiness - just like anger and alcohol. And like alcohol (and possibly anger), shopping can become an addiction. What you buy and how much you spend says a lot about you, but even more revealing is the knowledge of what exactly is motivating you to spend money in the first place. 

Luzzatto's quote from the sages can now be marshaled in support of his opening statement about the negative traits. 

It is almost more difficult to be clean of [negative] character traits than to be clean of sin, for human nature impacts our Middos even more than it impacts our behavior. This is because temperament and personality either strongly assist or strong resist [the negative traits] and any battle waged against human nature is going to be a major battle.

Anger is not an isolated character flaw. A man is recognized by his anger; an anger management problem is a personality disorder. As the sages said, "One who loses his temper is akin to an idolater." The battle against it must be waged with no less resolve.